Chocolate Makes Us Happy

A study featured in an article on MSN titled "What Your Hunger Is Telling You" tells us that chocolate makes us feel happy. They actually go into some discussion about B vitamins, but we know it's the taste. If that was me, I would spend time on figuring out things like why do people actually like Lady Gaga.

Firefighters Let House Burn Pets Die

Gene Cranick and his family lost all their possesions, three dogs, and a cat when the house they lived in burned down. The owner feels the pets and some of their belongings could of been saved in the fire department would have responded. When he called 911 he was told he had not paid a $75 fee required by the South Fulton fire department, since his home was outside city limits. Are you kidding me, what if a person was trapped inside? If that was me, I would sue,sue,sue! Nothing will bring back those pets, but this policy has to be changed before someone loses a child.

Subway Number One

According to a recent Zagat poll the best fast food restaurant is Subway followed by McDonalds. The results don't surprise me. What does is they surveyed people who ate an average of 6.1 meals a month at fast food places. These people are still alive? If that was me, I would get to a doctor now. Time to clean out the colon.

Paris Hilton Tweeting About Reading Books

Paris just tweeted, how she left some great book store, and she loves to read. Looking at pictures in magazines isn't reading dear. If that was me, I would be honest in my tweets. Something like, just scored some great coke, wanna stay skinny like the girl in this magazine I'm READING!

Tennis Pro Injured By Squirrel

American tennis pro Robby Ginepri's career will have to go on hold after he sustained an injury caused by a squirrel. Poor guy was out riding his bike and fell when he swerved to avoid a squirrel. He suffered a broken left elbow. If that was me, my therapy would be squirrel hunting, don't worry I would donate the meat, to Lady Gaga.  

Coach Fined 40,000 For Giving The Finger

The NFL has fined Tennessee Titan coach Chuck Cecil $40,000 for giving the finger to an official during his team's game on Sunday. Paris Hilton was only fined $2000 for her possesion of cocaine in Las Vegas. If that was me, I would try to get a job coaching in Vegas, he could give the finger about twice a game at that rate. Maybe that's why there is no team in Vegas, too bad.

Judge Buys Drugs From A Stripper

A Federal judge in Georgia has been arrested on firearms and drug related charges after a stripper turned FBI informant told authorities he used marijuana, cocaine, and other illegal drugs with her. If that was me, I would say I was doing research for my job. Who knows maybe he can deduct it on his taxes.